To Halloween...or NOT to Halloween!

I'm back from a year 'sabbatical' from blogging. In this past year I broke my leg, adopted 2 kids, helped my mom through her kidney transplant, visited family and friends and spent every day indoctrinating myself in the world of Reactive Attachment Disorder (RAD). In January of this year my two adopted children were diagnosed with RAD and our lives have never been the same. More on this story later, but for now I am in a good place with a wonderful therapist, great private school (behavioral service oriented) and lots of resources and great, supportive people in my life...but not everyone! :D

The topic today is Halloween, which I will preface by saying I don't like it. Never have, don't see the benefit and while I do participate I could easily give it up with no regrets. Last year we had all our children participate in the Trick-or-Treat night, church party, Trunk-or-Treat and class parties. At the time it was out of control but I was helpless to control it.

This year, I am better equipped to handle this holiday and others. The Big Easy and I have decided to not have our two RAD kids participate in any Halloween festivities. I feel good about that. Why? Because I know, as their mom, that participating brings no benefit to their mental health and emotional security. I can feel people's judgment when I say they won't be attending the class party or going out with our 3 healthy kids around the neighborhood tonight. "How can you prevent them from having fun?", "It's an American Institution", "It's unfair that you let some of your kids do it and not all of them", "What kind of mother are you?"

Fortunately, I'm used to the last feeling/statement - and I'll tell you what kind of mother I am. I'm a mother who lives every day with 2 children who do not trust or love me. I am a mother who spends every ounce of our family's financial, emotional and spiritual resources to help these two kids get the help that they need to be successful in life. I'm the kind of mother who has long-term vision for all my children and while it may not seem 'fun' or 'fair' in the moment - I ponder how every decision I make for them will affect their lives as adults. I'm the mother who is caring for children who didn't have someone looking out for their best interests early on in life. I'm the mom who cleans up the pee, poop and listens to them yell/scream/cry at me when they don't get what they think they 'want'. I'm the mother who loves my children and will fight fiercely for them.

So, A&S will not be dressing up or trick-or-treating this year. Yes, it's not fun for them. It's not fair to the family that we don't all get to go out together. It's not fair to me or The Big Easy that one of us has to stay home and have an early night - but we see the greater good. And honestly...does anyone really believe that there will be emotional scarring for not getting oodles of candy? pretending to be someone you're not? or being scared out of your wits!? These 2 kids have had enough 'tricks' in their short life before joining our family that a lifetime of 'treats' will not cure that. What will cure it is consistency, love, affection, bonding, and trust in a Mom that will look out for their best interest and have vision for their future. I'm that kind of mom.

Sincerely,
The Halloween Grinch!

We had a storm last week - and the temperatures dropped drastically...so we are left with a garden full of green tomatoes. Now, I love fried, green tomatoes but I can't cook that every night and doubt seriously it's that good for you. I ran across a recipe for green tomato relish on Farmgirl Fare and while I wasn't thoroughly convinced at the onset that it would be yummy...it definitely would save our hard work with the tomato plants. It turned out absolutely scrumptious! Eric was sad that I bottled it all and didn't save any out for him to eat last night with tortilla chips. So, if you have any green tomatoes lying around - you can whip up a batch and try it for yourself, you won't regret it!


Farmgirl Susan's No Sugar Green Tomato Relish
Makes about 3 pints
Recipe may be doubled; increase cooking time by 10-15 minutes

2 lb. green tomatoes, cored and chopped
1 lb. white or yellow onions, chopped
3/4 lb. sweet red peppers, cored and chopped
1/2 lb. tart cooking apples, such as 'Granny Smith', cored and chopped
6 garlic cloves, finely chopped
1 cup 5% acidic organic raw apple cider vinegar
1 Tablespoon kosher or sea salt
4 jalapeno peppers, cored, seeded if desired, and finely chopped
2 Tablespoons chopped cilantro
1 teaspoon ground cumin (optional)

Combine the tomatoes, onions, peppers, apples, garlic, vinegar, and salt in a large, nonreactive saucepan and bring to a boil. Reduce the heat and simmer, uncovered, stirring occasionally, until thickened, about an hour.

Stir in the jalapenos, cilantro, and cumin and simmer for 5 more minutes. Carefully purée the mixture using a stick blender (I can't say enough good things about my KitchenAid Hand Blender—it's one of the best things I ever bought for the kitchen) or in a traditional countertop blender (in batches if necessary) until still somewhat chunky.

If canning, return the puréed relish to a boil, then ladle the hot mixture into hot jars, leaving 1/4-inch head space. Process 15 minutes in a boiling-water canner. Store in a cool, dark place.
10 calories, 0g fat, 60mg sodium, 0g fiber, per Tablespoon

Produce Parade

Two years ago, I posted some of the more 'unusual' produce that sprang from our garden. You may remember this - aptly named "The carrot with a tail" (D'Art's idea):

Or the "octopus carrot" seen here:

So this year I'd like you to meet "Rick" and "Tony"
- they're rather 'snooty' as you can see:

This is their distant cousin "Jimmy" - he has quite the proboscis...

And can have quite the mean streak when pushed too far!

Bet you never see these in the supermarket aisle....'pear-shaped' cucumber
and its curvy sidekick!

Our one and only green pepper - looking down on our tomato harvest.

BUT - this was our first year growing melons!
We got crenshaw and cantaloupes that turned out really tasty!

The pumpkin vine, underneath the front window, took off and is producing 3, nice "Baby Bear" pumpkins. Perfect for pie-making.

And one lone little straggler who isn't going to make it to jack-o-lantern status or even a pie. Maybe he'll decorate the table or at the very least a neighbor's yard. Look out cul-de-sac!

Labor Day

The summer rushed right past me - woosh! Did anyone else feel the breeze!? We were busy with day trips, camps, a myriad of appointments for foster parenting, swim lessons, swimming, hanging with friends and just hanging out in general. School started and we were all glad to be back to our routines

Over Labor Day, we were lucky enough to have family come to visit. We spent our time doing nothing elaborate - but boy, was it rejuvenating! Our favorite event was an afternoon spent up in the mountains. It was just a group of us, some picnic supplies, long picnic benches, some card games, a wonderful breeze and lots of laughter. There is nothing finer to me!

Happy Labor Day 2009!

Home-made Hawaii

We were supposed to go to Hawaii last February. That was before we started doing foster care and had 5 kids to watch around sand and water (and the expenses to go along with it!). It would have been fun....the kids have often reminded us that they missed out!

Every once in a while a good idea pops in my head and I actually follow through with it - today was one of those days. I was pulling flowers off my pansy plants and there was quite a pile. I thought, "Wow, those could be strung together to make leis". "Nah, that would take too much time...the flowers are wilty...the girls will think it's dumb" was my self-talking response. Nevertheless, I sat down and decided to go with it! Here's the materials:

And here are the very happy recepients (well, the 2 out of 3 girls I can show you right now):


I pulled out the slip 'n slide, mini blow-up pool and the sprinkler for the trampoline. I filled up the little plastic sink with water and told them to have at it...we were having a Hawaiian STAYcation! We will grill for dinner and I'm playing Hawaiian music on Pandora.com. Now I'm off to make smoothies for the tourists!


This guy doesn't seem to be as convinced...maybe he needs some flowers in his hair!


P.S. We are moving from foster care towards adoption for the 2 kids in our care...we hope to have it completed by the end of summer. Updates to follow and lots of pictures when we're through! :D

Whoosh! There it is!

How does time go by so fast!?!?! Well, for me, it goes a little something like this... (a pictorial review of where the time went)

First, this girl had her 10th birthday:


Then you throw in a little of this:


And every day after school (when it wasn't SNOWING!) there was lots of this:

AND THIS:

On St. Patrick's Day we couldn't find Shamrock Shakes so we ended up making our own and started a new family tradition like this:


Another little girl (my baby) had a princess blow-out birthday party like this:


And this past weekend my good hubster made sure the kids got to do this:


And then yesterday there were attempts to take nice Easter photos that ended up looking more like this:


That's where I've been for the past 2 months - how about you?

TGIPIFF!

Thank Goodness it's Pay It Forward Friday!!!

A good friend (yes, you know who you are!) had a "Pay it Forward" challenge on her blog. I gladly raised my hand to receive a lovely gift from her and in return agreed to do the same right here! So...the first five folks to leave comments will get something handmade from me. I can't promise what it will be - maybe something sewn, scrapbooked, papered, baked, typed, printed, etc but it will definitely be from the heart! I CAN promise that it will be free of crayon marks and fingerprints from 5 little urchins that live within the four walls of our home!

The rules:

1. leave your comment with a link to your email if I don't already have it

2. you must agree to pay it forward by doing the same on your blog, or if you don't have a blog on Facebook or email

3. wait patiently for your handmade item

4. pay your own item forward!

Isn't the domino effect grand!? Happy paying!

January Update

It's the 23rd already! Isn't it still the first week of the New Year or something like that!? What happened here??? I had some really good intentions to start this new year with a blogging bang and be really faithful and devoted to writing weekly at least and here we are at almost the end of January and hmmm....I'm already behind!

In a nutshell here's what I've done so far this month:

2009 came in with a tiny bang - rung in at 10:00 pm (EST) for the little kids and for me I fell asleep on the couch at around 11:35pm while watching TV. Oh, the good old days when I could stay up well past midnight!

I turned 42 and interestingly enough it doesn't feel that much different than 41, yet!

School went back in session and there isn't enough woo hoo's or Woot Woot's! in the world to cover that one!!! Christmas break was 'too too much' of everything!

My foster daughter went from 3-years old to 4-years old, although if you ask her how old she is she will hold up one finger and say "One". Hmmm....sometimes it's four, sometimes five and occasionally four. She has the bestest, curliest hair you've ever seen. Here's a photo - I love to wrap my fingers around it and twist it for relaxation purposes.

I started a "Women on Weights" program at our local community center - lifting weights twice a week (plus cardio 4-5 times a week). Yep, just me and the fire men in the weight room...it's a tough gig but I've got to get my 'me' time in!

We've hit a major bump in the 'foster care' road this past week - more on that later, but it was bound to happen. I've discovered that there is support for any situation and I value my family, husband and friends even more during the lows!

Big D started cub scouts - I don't like it but I love him and I do enjoy seeing him get excited about the activities and badges. I'm not going to be a den mother though...so whoever makes those types of calls and requests, let it be known!

American Idol is back on and Lost has returned - can I hear a Woot Woot!

I have made a commitment to do more blogging - don't get all excited and hopeful about seeing something every week but I figure even once a month will be better than last year! I also am planning on 'slurping' last year's posts into a hard-bound book and calling it my journal. Whew! can get that monkey off my back and not have to worry that I'm a complete failure in the scrapbooking, family history, personal history, letter writing and journaling campaign! Seems 2009 is looking up!

Birthday Boy

This little baby boy has a birthday today - he's turning 8.

This little baby boy is still as cute as ever except he's grown quite a bit taller and will be passing up his mom before long.

This little baby boy doesn't have his curls anymore because he likes keeping it short - a #2 shield with the clippers.

This little baby boy still does toilets and hardly grumbles when asked to help clean the bathroom.

This little baby boy loves Lego Star Wars on Wii and it was his favorite toy yesterday from Santa.

This little baby boy can play the piano like nobody's business - who knew that those little chubby hands would turn long and slender, just right for playing piano.

This little baby boy still has huge dimples in his cheek and chin and now that he's a bigger boy he's completely unaware what that will do to girls some day.

This little baby boy has the most amazingly blue eyes that still can do his mom in when she's trying to say 'No' to him - it never works!

This little baby boy turned out to be a great big brother and is still a good little brother - who doesn't mind being 'girl trapped'.

This little baby boy can play soccer and basketball and is a really fast runner.

This little baby boy has grown up to be a wonderful son and loves his family and Heavenly Father.

This little baby boy is having a birthday... Happy Birthday Son!

This little boy has a birthday...

This one pictured here!

Father in Heaven bless him,

Throughout the coming year.

Happy Birthday to you,

Happy Birthday to you,

Happy Birthday dear baby boy

Happy Birthday to you!

Love you Always,

Mom

Compromise

We are finally done wrapping all of our Christmas gifts - woo hoo! Growing up, Santa never wrapped our Christmas gifts. We would wake on Christmas morning and walk out into the darkened room lit up by the Christmas Tree. Underneath the tree, each of our presents would be grouped in a pile next to our stockings. They always looked magical in the glow of the twinkle lights and we would race to find our stocking so we knew which pile was ours. (It was pretty obvious the year I got my favorite 'Puddin' doll and my brother got a GI Joe.) It wasn't until my younger brothers were much older that Santa started wrapping gifts and putting them under the tree. With 7 children, I think it might have saved Santa a little bit of time, at the Covey household, just leaving them unwrapped.

The Big Easy, on the other hand, grew up with Santa wrapping all his Christmas presents. He said the fun for him was not knowing what was inside until the wrapping paper was completely off. They took turns watching each other open gifts and the fun was guessing what each odd-shaped box would hold.

When we started having children of our own we had to decide what we would ask Santa to do - wrap or leave them unwrapped??? I have to admit that unwrapping a gift does add quite an element of surprise and suspense. We started with our oldest and had Santa wrap the majority and leave the biggest toy out - or the one that might have to be put together or odd-shaped. That tradition has continued. We compromised - now Santa wraps them all and if there is something that is too unusual to wrap or needs to be put together in order to be played with on Christmas Day, he leaves that out. Like our youngest's play kitchen last year and the trampoline in it's huge box. I think it's a good arrangement.

With six children this year I think Santa has his hands full for the gifts at our house. Even though I think each child will get a modest amount of gifts - when you add that up its a lot of wrapping! I've talked to several friends and family members and its funny how there really is a 50/50 split on how everyone grew up with Santa wrapping or not. I bet there's been a lot of compromise happening through the years where gift wrap is concerned. Happy wrapping! (or not!)